I can't stand driving on the freeways around here. Everyone tootles along at 5 miles under the speed limit in a dreamy, preoccupied fashion. It doesn't matter what time of the day or night it is--always, it's 60 mph or less.
Doot doot doot. Driving on the highway. Don't want to go too fast. Certainly don't want to go the speed limit. Don't really need to be anywhere. Just enjoying my commute to and/or from work. Turn signals? No thank you. Just going wherever. Lanes are subjective. Uh oh, here comes an interchange of some sort. Better slow down a little.
Deedle eedle ee. Better slow down even more if I see a cop. I get extra points for driving slower than the speed limit. It's like credit against ever getting a ticket. The cop sees me and writes my license plate number down and then it gets entered into a computer and then I get points. It's like a video game. The slowest, most boring video game ever invented.
Beep beep boop. Oh, that wasn't me honking my horn. I was just singing as I drive. No one honks here, except for that one California native in the CRV with the Willie Nelson license plate holder. That lady's not very nice. She's lived here for 10 years, you'd think by now she'd have realized how pleasant it is to just drift about town like everyone else does.
La la la la. Maybe I don't feel like turning when the left turn light turns green. Maybe I'll just sit here until it goes to yellow. Then red. Pretty. The people behind me aren't honking. They don't mind. Don't ever speed up when merging onto the freeway. Those guys will slow down for me. Don't ever move over to help people trying to merge onto the freeway. Those guys will find a way in.
Everyone's okay. Everything's okay. Reno driving.
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2 comments:
I hope you wrote this as you were driving.
When I was in Hawaii (did i mention i was in Hawaii for work? I did?? That's right, i'm an asshole.) everyone was driving 45. Seriously. And they were all so fucking nice too. it was disgusting to watch people give each other the hang loose "thanks for letting me merge" wave. And the fucking rainbows! Christ.
On my way to the airport there was a roll over accident on the highway. How do you flip your car going 45mph??
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